When you have kids, everything changes. But we all know this. We all heard about the impending doom for the entire six or more months that other people knew you were growing a tiny human.
However, one part of my life that I hadn’t really anticipated any change in, was my friendships.
I’m the person who values quality over quantity when it comes to friends. I have two fab girlos from my secondary school days that stood beside me on my wedding day & have been on call every day before & since. I’m part of a group of six fellow Mary I graduates that I couldn’t do without, and I was lucky enough to make another handful of friends for life when I began my career. That to me, is the makings of more than enough WhatsApp groups to keep anyone busy!
I was the first of all these ladies to get married, and was closely (and gladly) pipped to the post of entering motherhood by two of my girls.
All my ladies were equally amazing throughout the loss of my first pregnancy, and gently watched over me until I had my first baby home safe & sound a year later.
And that was when I started to notice things changing, but changing for the better. That year brought so many babies within my circle of friends and by default, so many “Mom friends” into my life.
New WhatsApp chats started pinging in…mostly along the lines of “OMG Help” and “So did this ever happen to you….?”. Excessive amounts of talking about poop and boobs took place. Confessions of confusion and crying and overwhelmed-ness flowed both ways. It was all weirdly wonderful!
I can’t explain how good it was, and is, to have people you can ask or say anything to, and get nothing back that is anything other than supportive, helpful, reassuring and positive. It really is magical. And it’s immensely powerful at a time in your life when you can feel completely powerless.
I was blessed from the get go to have two close friends who were months ahead of me on the mammy train. And the many friends who hopped on board in the months after me became just as vital to my daily survival.
Five years later, we are all still going strong. The meetups are few and far between when it comes to the mom friends and the smallie get togethers…the joys of living all over the country! But those group chats and Snaps roll in on the daily and they 100% give me life in so many ways.
All friends are vitally important and beyond special, but when it comes to the understanding that’s needed when the Mom struggles hit, there is just nothing like having a Mom friend to thrash it all out with. They’ve been there for me on the hardest of days and the longest of nights, and I like to think they could say the same about me.
If you are only starting on your journey as a Mammy, and you are the first of your friends to do so, then don’t be nervous. Get yourself out & about, attend the groups, chat to others that speak your parenting language. You will be glad you did. And soon enough, you might be the Mom friend that somebody writes about!