Guilt. A woman’s worst enemy, but never too far away.
Guilt implies that you have done something wrong. That we have harmed others in some way. That an offence or crime has been committed. An offence in whose eyes? If nobody else has actually lost out or been hurt, if nobody else is complaining, why saddle yourself with the back-breaking weight of guilt?
There are so many different types of guilt that modern mothers and modern women in general are carrying, all day, every day. Often a selection of guilts, all co-existing, eating away at our minds & our souls.
Here is a brief collection of the guilts that have sat on my shoulders at one stage or another in the past;
Raising your voice guilt
Taking a break from kids guilt
Putting yourself first sometimes guilt
Being less than you hoped guilt
Neglecting your partner guilt
Scrolling on your phone guilt
Messy house guilt
Screentime for the kids guilt
Venting about your kids guilt
Breastfeeding (or lack of) guilt
“Letting yourself go” guilt
Chips for dinner again guilt
I could go on, and I’m sure you could add a few yourself!
But what good does it serve? We choose to do what we do, and how we do it, for a reason. Usually because that’s what we feel like we need to do at that moment in time, so we do it. And usually because that’s all we have the energy/time/patience to do.
What is guilt going to change?
And what about men’s guilt? Is that even a thing? If you were to make a list of things you regularly feel guilty about and give it to the man in your life, would he tick the same things off? Would he be able to empathise? Or would he just look at you like you’ve lost your mind… Definitely the latter in my case!
We have nobody to blame when it comes to our personal loads of guilt. And nobody can ease it either. So I have decided that I’m parking it. I do my best every day. My best is different every day, depending on a hundred factors. But I do my best.
And nobody can be, or should be expected to do any more than that.
The world speaks & preaches so much now about being kind. The emphasis is usually on kindness towards others, to those around us. We need to be kind to ourselves. So park the guilt. Do what works for you.
Park. The. Guilt.