Hypocritical Feminist?

The last couple of years has renewed attention to feminism & all that it encompasses. Movements born in Hollywood & raised by social media have shone a new light on the position and status of women in the modern world. So much has changed & is changing.

And so much stays the same.

I consider myself a Feminist. Someone who believes in equality for women, and in the infinite power of women in all areas of society. I believe women can do anything, and there shouldn’t be anything out of reach just because of gender.

I do often question my Feminism though. Day to day I’m almost the opposite of a Feminist.

I work in a very female orientated career where most leadership positions are held by men. I work part-time by choice due to having a very energy-consuming young family. I do 99% of the shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry & ass wiping in the house. I feel like a servant most of the time! Especially now that we are at home ALL THE TIME. My husband is the stereotypical breadwinner & I manage the household.

While this does get on my nerves from time to time, and I feel like it overwhelms me at times too, I don’t see anything wrong with it on the whole. I am at home more, I have more time, so I do the housework etc. The Feminist part of me likes to think that if I was the one gone for 11 hours a day that my husband would do the same! And in fairness, the odd time he has been home before me, he has stepped up.

Despite this, I do sometimes feel like a hypocrite. It drives me insane & gets me angry to the core when I see/hear/read about women getting screwed over in so many ways by the world around them, just because they are female. Gender quotas were introduced to make things “equal” or at least more balanced in certain professions, but to me it feels insulting and offensive to think women are getting chosen for roles because the management are legally obliged to hire somebody with boobs.

Stuff like that gets my Feminist fires burning. But then I put down my phone & fold the mountain of laundry. And that feels like hypocrisy.

I justify it in my mind by reminding myself that the things that make me feel like a hypocritical feminist are just part of daily life & family life that everybody does, male or female, single, coupled up, whatever. It just so happens I am the one with the most time & let’s face it, the most capability, to take care of business in my home.

Nobody is forcing me into being the part-time working, almost old fashioned housewife. I could go back full time & even take on extra work if I felt like it, because I have a husband who wouldn’t dream of holding me back.

I have two boys, but if I ever had a girl I would be drilling Feminism into her from Day 1! My boys are 4 and 2 and they won’t escape my feminist beliefs either. As they grow they will learn how to load a dishwasher, how to use a washing machine, how to cook simple meals, how to clean a bathroom, how to do the basic things that all civilised humans need to know, things that shouldn’t all be left to the woman of the house.

I do not want to be the mammy who sends 5 pre-cooked meals off on a college bus of a Sunday, or who is greeted with a gear bag of smelly washing on a Friday evening… no thank you! I will not be falling into the trap of so many women gone before me. I expect that by that age my boys will be able to do those things for themselves.

I plan to raise my boys to know and understand that men and women can and should be equals, and deserve equal respect.

So maybe I’m not too much of a hypocrite. I have standards of what is expected of me as a woman. I have boundaries & expectations for the men I am raising. At my current stage of life that’s probably as feminist as it gets for now!

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