The Mystery of the Blinkered Man

***Disclaimer; this story may contain traces of Man-Bashing***

Once upon a time, in a place not far away, there lived a man. He was an ordinary man, he did ordinary things, and led an ordinary life.

But he had one small oddity. Despite having perfectly good eyesight, it was as if he was permanently blinkered.

One could even go so far as to say he suffered from “Peripheral Blindness”. He could see what was straight in front of him, but he seemed completely blind to everything else around him.

Baskets of clean laundry waiting to be brought upstairs would be passed by, unseen, numerous times. Doors would be opened, presses would be opened, and not one would be closed afterwards. Dirty socks would remain beside the couch, seemingly invisible to the man.

This case of blindness also extended to his children. He was unable to see them smearing greasy fingers all over the windows & on the TV.

He never seemed to notice when one snuck messy & forbidden foods into the sitting room, where they would end up being used as media for freestyle furniture painting.

It really was a very unfortunate condition. Some would call it life-limiting. Most definitely it could be considered life-threatening…

Luckily for that man, he had a wife. Her vision was perfect, she could see everything. In fact, she saw too much for own good.

Because she was a caring, dilligent wife, she would often help her husband to see the things that his blinkered eyes could not.

She would regularly follow after him, closing doors and presses, carrying baskets of laundry as big as herself, picking up socks from beside the couch, and so on.

However, every time she carried out these little duties, the little fire that burned in her gut would get bigger & bigger.

Sometimes she would remind her ailing husband that he “forgot” to close the press, and he would appreciate her feedback, but it woulddn’t prevent it from happening again in the very near future.

This reminding often turned into nagging, which became snapping, and his wife didn’t enjoy that, but fear not, the man would never get too upset over it.

Having discussed these recurring issues with some close friends, his wife discovered that in fact, she was not alone. Many other men suffered from this blinkered affliction.

She felt some relief in this knowledge, but she did wonder how,if ever, these men could be cured. What was she to do? Would it be like this forever?

She decided that rather than reminding him or doing things that her husband’s blinkered nature meant he couldn’t, that she would just call it out as it happened…

“Darling, kindly remove your rancid jocks from the floor & place them in the basket as your earliest convenience…” You know, thats sort of thing. She gained some slight relief from taking this approach.

To this day, no cure has been found, the Mystery of the Blinkered Man remains unsolved.

Despite this, they did manage to live…Happily Ever After.

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