Thrown Off

I have been thrown off balance.

I am falling off the tight-rope that I was barely clinging onto this time last week.

Whatever shred of post-Christmas balance I managed to regain last week is well and truly gone.

I had reeled in the sugar binges. I had reduced the evening snacking. I had returned to exercise. The decorations were packed up & stored away immediately after. Windows were cleaned. Shopping was done. Laundry was under control.

I was back on track after a hectic 6 weeks of Christmas prep & festivities.

Then BAM.

What do you mean school is not resuming for the forseeable future?

What absolute living nightmare is this?

As a Primary teacher, and as a mother of small boys, schools not reopening is the perfect storm.

Like so many other parents, my head went from holiday mode to “Oh shit” mode.

The planning started, the work WhatsApp groups took off.

And I lost my balance.

I feel like I’ve been living in an actual tornado since Saturday.

Collecting books, mine and his, organising resources, sussing out technology, planning with colleagues, recording teaching videos, cursing rural wifi while uploading said videos, lying awake at night wondering what I missed…

All the while keeping the house in some sort of order, the children, the husband suitably fed, watered, washed & clothed.

Something has to give right?

Right.

So what gives?

Me.

My wellness.

My diet.

My exercise.

My sleep.

My cortisol levels!

Back to endless carbs, sugar cravings, evening eating, excess caffeine, and zero movement!

This is always my default survival strategy.

And it’s so bad for me! But it’s so good and comforting in the moment.

I’m not beating myself up over it. I’m doing what I can, when I can.

It’s only the middle of week 1.

I’m giving myself the week to regain my balance.

Next week will be better.

I won’t be losing sleep over school work.

I won’t be stress eating or binge eating.

I will be making time for my exercise & forcing myself to do it at least 3 times a week.

I will get back up on the tight-rope that is Lockdown life.

I will find my balance.

A safety-harness would be no harm though!!

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